The secret of an empty notebook

Today is a page in your blank notebook. What do you want to write in it?

The tale of an empty notebook

During my university days, I noticed that one of my classmates had a somewhat unusual habit: occasionally, she would take a small notebook out of her handbag, open it, glance at it for a few seconds, and then put it back. I was curious about the notebook's contents, but didn’t know her well enough to ask about it. After getting to know her a little better, I ventured to ask her what it was all about.

“The notebook? Do you want to see it?”

“Yes, if you don’t mind.”

She handed me the notebook. It had 24 numbered pages, but otherwise it was completely blank.

“I don’t get it. It is completely blank!” I said, sounding rather puzzled.

“That’s my secret to a happy life.”

“This tiny blank notebook?”

“Yes, it was a gift from my dad when I turned 18. He asked me if I would like an expensive present or a precious present for my birthday. I chose the precious present, hoping I would get something one of a kind, something exotic. Instead, he gave me this pocket notebook, and I was so disappointed. He saw it on my face and said, ‘Use this precious present for three months every day without skipping a single day. At the end of three months, if you’d rather have an expensive present, tell me and I will get you an expensive present, at least twice as expensive as the most expensive one you got from anyone.’ That seemed fair, so I asked him,

‘What do I do with this notebook?’

‘Every morning when you wake up, flip through it. Remember, you can write anything on it. It is completely blank. It has 24 pages corresponding to the next 24 hours, which are pristine. Ask yourself what you want to write on it. Are you going to write about yesterday’s grievances, complaints, worries, and anxieties? Is that what you want to fill your notebook with? Or, are you going to fill these 24 hours with joy and happiness? Remember, no matter how bad things went yesterday, you have 24 hours today, untouched by what happened. This is your notebook, and only you can fill it. What is it going to be? It is your choice. During the day, if anything happens to disturb you, open the page corresponding to that hour. See that it is blank, waiting for you to choose between despair and joy, fear and courage, anger and forgiveness.’

“By the end of the first month,” she said to me, “I was so glad I didn’t choose the expensive present. If my dad had given me an expensive gift, I would have been thrilled at that time, but probably would have forgotten it by now. But this precious present changed my life. It has kept me happy, grateful, and cheerful over all these years.”

1. Look at the preciousness of the day

We misspend our days. We pollute the day with yesterday’s grievances. If someone insulted us yesterday, we brood over it today. If we made a mistake a week ago, we feel bad about it today. We don’t stop there; we keep going. We often look back in time to find grievances from our childhood. We resurrect them, bring them to the present, and add them to our other worries and resentments. We write epic stories around them, some of which may not even be true. We often fail to realize that the only way to be truly happy is to fill every hour of the day with what needs to be done today, in this moment. When we focus on what needs to be done today, we find that we have no room in our minds for past grievances. Neither do we need to be anxious about what tomorrow will bring.

Hold every hour in your hands. Take care of today's tasks, and you won't need to depend as much on tomorrow's. - Seneca, Moral Letters, 1

When we shut out yesterday and look after just today, tomorrow will take care of itself. This is the precious present, a blank slate until we decide to taint it. It is in our power not to do so.

2. Take care of just this day

When we tell ourselves that we have to live the rest of our lives well, we create an intolerable burden for ourselves. How can we carry the weight of our entire lives today? It is easy to give up. But if we tell ourselves we will take care of this day, this precious present, we can do it.

Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall. Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all that life really means. - Robert Louis Stevenson

It is doable if we look at our blank 24-page notebook today and decide not to pollute it just for today. You can repeat it again and again for the rest of your life because you will carry only that day’s burden for that day. When you refuse to carry today the burdens of yesterday, you,

Give yourself the gift of the present moment. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 8.44

Don’t worry about the rest of your life. Just take care of this day, this hour, this moment. The rest of your life will take care of itself.

3. Enjoy the lightness of being

When we decide not to bring yesterday’s (last week’s, last year's, last decade’s) problems into today and if we decide not to create any problem for ourselves today, we will notice something: no one forced us to carry these burdens. No one even asked us. We did it to ourselves. We brought our past problems along by not letting them go. We created today’s problems by not understanding what is and is not under our control and letting go of what is not within our control. When we see that, a huge burden is lifted from our shoulders. We see that this burden could not have been lifted from our shoulders by anyone else. Only we can do it. And when we come upon this realization, we will understand the truth behind Marcus Aurelius’ exclamation:

How easy it is to banish and erase every upsetting or unwelcome thought and gain immediate and complete tranquillity! - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 5.2

Our lives will become easier and flow well. A lightness will pervade our being.

Takeaways

Today is precious. We make it difficult for ourselves by not letting go of our past troubles and future anxieties. To get rid of this burden:

1. Look at the preciousness of today

2. Take care of just this day

3. Enjoy the lightness of spirit that comes from letting go of our past

Try this simple exercise

Buy a small pocket notebook. Number the first 24 pages in sequence. Assign each page to an hour of the day—Page 1 = midnight; Page 2 = 1 am… Page 24 = 11 pm.

1. When you get up every morning, flip through the pages. They’re all blank except for the page number and time.

2. Decide to keep it that way for the rest of the day. Decide not to bring into today the troubles of yesterday. Also, decide not to ruin the blank pages of today with fresh grievances.

3. If you feel any negative emotion, such as anger, worry, or anxiety, go to the page corresponding to the hour of the day. Ask yourself if you want to pollute the page with your negative emotions or let them go.

4. Repeat the process the following day. Keep repeating it daily until it becomes a habit.

THE POWER TO CHANGE

“By embracing the ideas and strategies presented in this accessible book, readers will be shown how to empower themselves to change what they can and to make peace with what they cannot change.” - Walter J. Matweychuk, Ph.D. Psychologist, University of Pennsylvania Department of Psychiatry; REBTDoctor.com

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