Staying on the highway of your life

Three Stoic stragegies that will help you get to your destination

We seldom finish what we start.

• About 18% of gym members never attend the gym.

• Most people who start reading a book never finish it. For example, only 7% of readers of Daniel Kahnemann's phenomenal bestseller Thinking Fast and Slow finished it.

• Of every 100 people who start writing a book, only three finish writing.

I don’t want to bore you with statistics (although I’m tempted to!). We all know how many projects we started and never completed, how many things we put in storage we never looked at again, how many good deeds we wanted to do but never did, and how many times we wanted to make a difference in the world but didn’t even get far enough to help a person living on the street.

That is a recurring pattern of lives: good intentions followed by actions that never start, or actions that fizzle, great enthusiasm followed by distractions, and highways followed by detours.

We expect instant results from our efforts. “I have been practicing Stoicism for three months now. My progress is too slow. Maybe I should do something else.” We are impatient and don’t realize that things take time. We give up too soon. We overestimate what we can do quickly but underestimate what we can do if we persist in our efforts. We never stay long enough on the highway of our life to reap the benefits of our efforts.

Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out. - Robert Collier

We are not rewarded for uncompleted tasks. You won’t become a better Stoic if you listen to lectures and read Stoic books and blogs but don’t act on your learning. You will not get a better body because you paid for your expensive gym membership. You get a better body if you work out at your gym. You won’t become knowledgeable because you paid for a book. You will become knowledgeable when you read the book and learn from it. Starting something and not completing it wastes money or resources—or both.

Staying on the highway of your life speeds up your journey. If you get sidetracked, you may never reach your destination or you may arrive late.

What can we do about it?

Why do we start with good intentions but let our follow-up actions fizzle? Why do we start driving on the highway of our life but take up detours that go nowhere?

1. Act. Intentions are not enough.

We mistake our intentions for actions. Intending to do something is different from actually doing it. Right intentions are important in Stoicism. It is your intention that decides whether an action is right or not.

The essence of good and evil consists in the action itself, and not in its consequences." - Epictetus, Discourses, 3.26

However, if you intend to act but do not, then your intentions do not matter. Once you start doing something, if you say you don’t have the time, it is because you don’t want to stay on your path and so take a detour. Life is long enough to do what you intend to do, if you know how to use it, but it is never long enough when you postpone actions.

Life is long if you know how to use it." - Seneca, On the Shortness of Life, 1.3

So, when you are tempted to take detours, remember,

Do not act as if you were going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over you. While you live, while it is in your power, be good. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.17

Acting on your intention is the first step in staying on the highway.

2. Persevere. Things take time.

We often start acting on our intentions but lose interest because it takes too long. We don’t realize that things take time. We want immediate results. We crave instant gratification. So, as soon as our initial enthusiasm wears off, we lose interest in the project.

No great thing is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer you that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen. - Epictetus, Discourses, 1.15

We tend to overestimate what we can achieve in a month but underestimate what we can achieve in a year. If we give up when we lose interest, reach a plateau, or are distracted by a shiny object, we never see the result we hoped for.

Persevering with your goal after the initial enthusiasm dies down and persevering through periods of slow progress will keep you on the highway and get you to where you want to go with your life.

3. Focus. Your time is limited.

We start something and make some progress. We are motivated to continue but are easily sidetracked by something else that catches our attention. We lack concentration and focus.

Concentrate every minute like a Roman … on doing what’s in front of you with precise and genuine seriousness, tenderly, willingly, with justice. And on freeing yourself from all other distractions. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 2.5

Can we really focus this way on what is in front of us? Yes, says Marcus Aurelius, if we don’t get carried away by our emotions. You know where you want to go. Don’t let anything stop you. Do it as if you don’t have much time. Think of this as the last day of your life and focus on what is on hand.

Yes, you can—if you do everything as if it were the last thing you were doing in your life, and stop being aimless, stop letting your emotions override what your mind tells you, stop being hypocritical, self-centered, irritable. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 2.5

Stay focused on the road you are travelling. You don’t have much time to lose.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   

But I have promises to keep,   

And miles to go before I sleep,   

And miles to go before I sleep.

— Robert Frost, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Takeaways

1. We need to stay on the highway of our lives long enough to achieve exceptional results. We easily get distracted or give up too soon to reap the benefits of our efforts.

2. Follow these three steps to stay on your path:

   1. Act. Intentions are not enough.

   2. Persevere. Things take time.

   3. Focus. Your time is limited.

TRY THIS SIMPLE EXERCISE

Try to recall the projects you were interested in but never started. What stopped you from starting? Could you have started them despite your excuses?

Try to recall the projects you started but never finished. What stopped you from finishing them? Could you have finished them despite your excuses?

Imagine starting and finishing the projects you wanted to. Would it have made a difference to your life? If so, try to stay on the highway of your life and persevere rather than give up too soon.

---

HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF STOICISM—AND STAY ON THE HIGHWAY OF YOUR LIFE

Become a paid member to get the most out of Stoic ideas such as the above. What do you get when you become a paid member? In addition to what you receive now, you will also receive:

1. Every weekday: Prokopton Daily.A specially written email containing thoughts for the day and an action plan for the day.

2. Every Saturday: Prokopton Letter: Blog dealing with our everyday life.

3. Every Sunday: Prokopton Monthly: Lesson for the month, Exercise for the Month, and special articles spread over four Sundays.

I look forward to welcoming you!

Stoic practice has the power to change your life.

If you are not yet a part of the prokopton community, please consider becoming a paid member.

It may be one of the best decisions of your life.

261024