Being opinion-free
We don't have to have an opinion on everything. Or even on anything.
You attend a dinner party where the conversation bounces from politics to sports, the latest tech gadgets to celebrity scandals. Then someone asks:
“What do you think about that celebrity divorce?”
How likely are you to say, “I don’t have an opinion on that”? If you’re like most people, you probably have some thoughts on the subject. You may have heard conversations like these:
“I don’t like him.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. He gives me the creeps.”
Or:
“You think I’m stupid.”
“I never said that.”
“You don’t have to. I know.”
These exchanges reveal how easily personal impressions blur into reality. Someone feels a certain way, which in itself becomes proof.
This way of thinking is more universal than we realize. We don’t merely see a child playing—we see a cute child playing. We don’t simply observe a shopping mall—we notice a crowded one. We don’t just perceive a friend—we interpret a worried friend. A neighbour asks for a favour, and instead of simply seeing a neighbour, we see someone always taking advantage of us.
Our opinions blend so deeply with reality that we struggle to separate them.
What’s the harm?
Sometimes, none. No harm is done when you describe a stadium as “big” if it is objectively large. But if you also believe its impressiveness is indisputable, you may find yourself arguing with someone who disagrees.
This happens all the time. If you think a movie is excellent and someone else dislikes it, you may assume they lack the sophistication to appreciate its finer points. As far as you are concerned, the movie’s greatness is fact, and anyone who disagrees isn’t offering a different opinion—they’re wrong.
Having an opinion on everything clouds judgment. Constant judgment distorts perception. We get into conflicts over matters that don’t warrant them. We feel unhappy when there’s no reason to. Simply seeing the world as it is—without unnecessary opinions—can make life feel fresh and vibrant while eliminating the root cause of many disputes.
1. Avoid unnecessary opinions
Modern society bombards us with information and stimuli, from social media to news. There’s a subtle cultural assumption that being “informed” means having an opinion on everything. Conversations encourage us to form snap judgments on all topics. If asked for our thoughts, we offer them—even when we lack knowledge or expertise.
Over time, we become immersed in misinformed opinions and conspiracy theories. And because we cherish the opinions we hastily form, we defend them as if they were undisputed truths. But the Stoics challenge this assumption:
You always have the option of having no opinion … These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.52
You don’t have to have an opinion on everything or anything, for that matter. We reject the idea that knowledgeable people must weigh in on every subject.
This practice is known as epoché, a Greek term meaning suspension of judgment—the art of resisting the urge to label, judge, or opine on everything we encounter.
2. Understand that unnecessary opinions cost us
Unnecessary opinions aren’t just harmless clutter—they bring distress, division, and error. Our judgments shape emotions and behaviour. When we form opinions hastily or without sufficient evidence, we disrupt our own tranquillity and risk acting unwisely.
From this day forward, whenever we do anything wrong, we will ascribe the blame only to the judgment from which we act; and we will endeavour to remove and extirpate that, with greater care than we would abscesses and tumours from our body.
— Epictetus, Discourses, 1.11.35
If we develop strong opinions about how a spouse, child, or boss should behave, we will be distressed when they don’t meet those expectations. If we think a politician must act a certain way, we will grow upset when they make different choices. If we believe we deserve respect, any perceived slight will make us furious.
But if we withhold judgment, we can objectively analyze what’s happening. This allows us to act wisely rather than react based on assumptions formed ahead of time, without knowing all the facts.
3. Realize the power of withholding opinions
What’s the benefit of withholding judgments? First, it prevents us from misinterpreting reality to fit preconceived ideas.
Sherlock Holmes put it best:
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, A Scandal in Bohemia
Withholding opinions also prevents us from upsetting ourselves unnecessarily. No one forces us to have an opinion on anything, yet we often allow our judgments to dictate our emotional state.
We have the power to hold no opinion about a thing and to not let it upset our state of mind—for things have no natural power to shape our judgments. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 6.52
By choosing not to form opinions on matters beyond our understanding or control, we safeguard our peace of mind and sharpen our rational thinking.
There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can’t control. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.52
Takeaways
We judge everything. We form opinions about everything. These judgments are so universal that we stop distinguishing them from facts. Most of our opinions are unnecessary and even harmful.
Avoid having unnecessary opinions—no one can force you to have an opinion.
Recognize the cost of forming opinions carelessly—they distort reality, cause unnecessary distress, spark conflict, and rob us of tranquility.
Withholding judgment restores power. It helps us separate perception from reality and prevents us from being upset over things that don’t actually harm us.
Try this simple exercise
We all assume we see things as they are. But most of us judge everything we encounter. Do you think you are different? Reflect on these questions:
Think of someone you interact with daily. If you have a negative opinion of them, how does that influence your behaviour? Would you interact exactly the same way if you had a positive opinion of them instead?
Pick someone you don’t know well. Imagine they are an excellent person. Now, imagine they are ignorant and troublesome. How would each assumption alter the way you treat them?
If you recognize that your opinions shape your interactions, then it’s clear: judgments colour our experience of the world—not the other way around.
THE POWER TO CHANGE
“And I think there is really something for everyone in The Power to Change. Whether you prefer to focus on developing the virtues, or dealing with unhealthy emotions, or cultivating the art of living, you will find pertinent lessons and exercises to help you on your way. - Brittany Polat, Stoicism for Humans
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170525
Nice article. Eager to read your new book.
What if the opinion is actually valid, and well-informed, but you simply control your behavior in spite of it? Invalidating someone else’s feelings can sometimes be used as a passive-aggressive lifetime pass to be disrespectful while unchecked.