Our anxious lives
What are we anxious about? Almost everything. Am I overweight? Am I eating processed foods too much? Am I exercising enough? Am I saving enough for my retirement? Will AI take my job? Am I going to be late for work? What if I fall ill? What if my partner leaves me? What if my new boss doesn’t like me? The list is endless, and you can add a hundred things I haven’t even thought of to it.
And that’s not all. Even in moments of calm, a low hum of anxiety permeates our existence like an ever-present soundtrack. We are never 100% there, anywhere. We are never comfortable being where we are. We think about work when we are at play and think about play when we are at work. Anxiety is the most commonly diagnosed mental health condition in the United States. And yet, we know that true happiness cannot be achieved unless we get rid of our anxiety.
True happiness is…to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future. - Seneca, On Benefits, 7.2
What can we do about it? Here are some antidotes to anxiety that you may find helpful.
Antidote 1. Most fears are imaginary
We are anxious about the future. What if I fall seriously ill? What if I don’t have enough money saved for the future? What if the cyst the doctor found in my body turned out to be malignant? What if I make a fool of myself in the job interview? What if I lose my job? What if my spouse finds someone more attractive? What if my investments fail? These things are not happening in the present, but you fear they may happen in the future. You may even imagine that they will happen in the future. So you start getting anxious, anticipating the worst. If something bad can happen, we tend to assume that it will happen. But many things we assume may never come to pass.
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, most of which never happened. - Mark Twain
Yes, our life is full of troubles that never happen.
We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality. - Seneca, Moral Letters, 13
Most of our anxieties will never come to pass. Why be anxious?
Antidote 2. Being anxious doesn’t help
“Ah,” you may say, “but I know it is sure to happen.” And you may explain why you know for sure something is going to happen. You have no reason to be anxious, even when your fears are not imaginary. If you know that something will happen for sure, you only have two options open to you. The first one is you can do nothing about it. If you can do nothing, why worry about it? Why not wait until it happens and then see how best to respond? Anxiety will not improve your problem-solving skills. The second one is you can do something about it. Think more clearly about this and do what you can now to forestall what you think will happen or minimize its negative effects if it does happen. Once you have done this, you have nothing more to be anxious about. Being anxious about something that has not yet happened adds to your suffering.
He suffers more than necessary, who suffers before it is necessary. - Seneca, Moral Letters, 98
Antidote 3. You will have resources available to you in the future
When we believe we have to be anxious about the future now, we tell ourselves that we will be helpless in the future. Yet, throughout your life, you have faced many problems and solved them. Why do you assume you won’t be able to do the same in the future? What has guided you through thus far will guide you in the future. The mental resources you have now will also be available to you in the future.
Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 7.8
It is important to keep our rational faculties intact. They will guide us when we face difficult situations in the future. There is no need to be miserable now, anticipating things going wrong.
Antidote 4. No need to have FOMO on sorrow
People have a fear of missing out (FOMO). It is a feeling that we have to do something right now; otherwise, we will miss something important. A few examples:
You hear about a hot new stock that everyone is investing in, and you might be tempted to invest hastily without doing proper research.
Your friends are talking about the latest gadgets or apps, and you end up purchasing something, so you are not missing out on the experience.
When you see your friends posting pictures from a party or event you weren’t invited to, you start feeling anxious about missing out on their fun.
FOMO may not be a great way to run your life, but at least it makes sense if you feel you are missing out on good things if you don’t take action.
But, when you are anxious, you suffer before the event is yet to happen (if it happens at all). It is like saying, “What I am anxious about may never happen. But I don’t want to miss out on the experience of being miserable. Let me start being unhappy right now.” After all, who wants to miss out on misery? Seneca has something to say on this:
What need is there to take an advance on future troubles, ruining the present with fear of the future? When troubles come is time enough to bear them. Surely it is foolish to be miserable now just because you are going to be miserable later on! - Seneca, Moral Letters, 24
Being anxiety-free
How do we get rid of worries about the future? You may rightly argue that you should be concerned about the future. You may not save enough if you are not concerned about your old age. If you are not concerned about being late, you may not get to your meeting on time. Yes, we need to be concerned about what will happen in the future, but we don’t have to be anxious about it. The most important thing we can do to avoid anxiety is first to identify what is and what is not under our control. Then, take action on what is under your control and deal with what is not under your control as and when it happens.
Once you have done that, if you still feel anxious, know that your anxiety is likely imaginary, being anxious doesn’t help, and you will have resources available when undesirable things happen in the future. It is absurd to be unhappy now because you may be unhappy in the future.
If you are still anxious, Epictetus has a couple of questions for you:
You now know the principles. You claim to understand them. Then why aren’t you putting these principles into practice? What kind of teacher are you waiting for? - Epictetus, Encheirdion, 51
The present moment exists for us to ‘enjoy the festival of life,’ as Epictetus called it. To make the best use of it, we need to eliminate our anxieties about our future. Once we realize that we have done all that we can about the future and there is nothing we can do about it, there is only one thing left: enjoy the present.
PRACTICING STOICISM
The ancient Stoics offered simple and effective solutions to everyday problems. And yet, just knowing the basics will not get you far. Neither will random reading of Stoic literature. To achieve happiness and freedom, you must consistently commit yourself to practicing Stoicism—every day. Practice is key. Musicians do it. Athletes do it. No excellence can be achieved without practice. We are here to help you all the way. So, fellow Prokoptons, we are glad you joined us by committing to practicing Stoicism daily!
If you are not yet a part of the prokopton community, please consider joining us. It may be one of the best decisions of your life.
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Love the Epictetus quote Now I know the principles, what kind of teacher am I waiting for? ! Great reminder of the value of -- the necessity of!-- practice. Thank you!
Excellent!